Oh, hi world. Remember me? It has been far too long since I have kept up with this blog, and for those of you out there who missed me, I am so sorry. I’m trying to be better. Your girl has been GOING THROUGH IT the last couple months, which is why I wanted to finally write this blog post about how to overcome feeling like you’re not good enough because….let’s just be honest…the negative self talk is toxic AF and its gotta stop!

This blog post will be accompanied by an old shoot I did at Victoria Beach last summer because this stunning Watters gown needs to be seen, and so do these words I am about to share with you, so I hope you enjoy both sides of the coin I got going for you here.

Let me just preface what I am about to say by telling you I have been meaning to write this post since January 1st. I told myself last December I was gonna get back to blogging first thing in 2020…and here we are, it is now April, and no one can leave their homes. What a difference three months can make!

Since the end of last summer, I feel like I have been going in a sharp downward spiral. I’ve been second guessing myself, and that has led to deeper and deeper self doubt, self loathing, and ultimately a feeling of helplessness. Now, let me tell you, I am not this person. Up until this point I have always been positive and resilient. I’ve always had this can-do attitude, but slowly over time, that part of myself has been slowly chipped away. I went from feeling like I was on top of the world, smashing my goals to feeling like I was at my lowest point….why?

I could blame the beginnings of this hole I’ve dug myself on so many things but what it comes down to is the fact that I have allowed myself to get into the habit of negative self talk. If you are nodding your head, then you’ve probably done the same thing too. My friends, this is a habit we must break if we are going to stop feeling like we aren’t good enough and get back to being badasses and taking names. So here is my advice on how to kick your inner Debbie Downer to the curb and gain a positive mindset once again!

Acknowledge Your Feelings

I would say the first step is to acknowledge your feelings and where they are coming from. In my case, I have a long history of being my own worst enemy. I have always have a lot of self doubt in anything I’ve ever done and that self doubt has never served me. So here’s my advice to me and to you…let’s stop being so hard on ourselves! We are human after all…at times we will mess up but if you really take a second and think, you’ll realize you’re actually doing better than you’ve been giving yourself credit for.

Talk It Out With Someone

Sometimes you just need to vent about yourself. Find someone who you are close to, whom you know will really listen, I mean really listen, and just unload. It takes some of the load off of yourself to release these feelings to someone else. The other benefit of doing this with someone you care about is that they will likely tell you just how bonkers your dumb negative self talk is, which will help you to reinforce to yourself just how much you need to nip that voice in the bud!

Ask Yourself: Why do you feel this way?

Is what you are attempting to do something new? If so, it is normal to feel “imposter syndrome” because of the very nature of what you are doing. Just because its new to you or hasn’t been done before doesn’t mean that you are not good enough, it just means its going to feel a little uncomfortable on the journey there, and that uncomfortable feeling is completely normal!

Change Your Response

We can’t control everything in life. This has never felt more true than the present moment where we are all probably feeling disoriented and completely out of control. Whether its coronavirus, the algorithm, trends, the weather, you name it, the ONLY thing you can control is how you respond to your situation. Reacting negatively to your situation and beating yourself up because you aren’t where you want to be is completely counter productive. Suffering a setback? Learn from it and keep moving on. Realize that you won’t get it right all the time….news flash, NO ONE DOES!

Practice Visualization

Another lifetime ago, I was a competitive figure skater, and during that time, sports psychology was really starting to come in vogue. I remember when they taught us about visualization and 12 year old me was totally skeptical and thought it was bogus. Now I am starting to see that it actually can bring about positivity in my life. Manifest what you want and believe it. By doing so you are putting that energy forward and the more you practice this, the more you will stop being a cynical skeptic and will start to believe what is possible.

Celebrate Your Wins

It is so important when you actually accomplish something, even if its “small,” you acknowledge it and celebrate! Remember those wins, so that when you do have another moment of weakness and feeling like you’re not good enough, you can counteract those thoughts with real life achievements that prove just how wrong your perceived thoughts of failure or inadequacy truly are.

I hope these tips help you wherever you are at in your mental health journey. Often times the worst part of having these types of feelings of inadequacy is that you feel isolated and that no one understands what you’re going through….know that so many people struggle with these same thoughts and feelings, and overcoming them is a journey that won’t happen overnight but is a daily effort. If you ever need someone to chat with, I am always available, slide on over into my Instagram Dm’s and I will be your cheerleader!