Confessions of a non-traditional student

As I write this post….it is my last EVER. DAY. OF. SCHOOL!!! I can barely even believe those words as I type them, but the day is here. I will be walking at my graduation in about a week and a half and I am so stoked to be putting this chapter in the past and move on with my life. My journey to graduation has been anything but normal, as you can probably tell, so I wanted to share my thoughts and experiences as a non-traditional student for anyone else out there who may be thinking of going back to school later in life as I did.

First, a little background on how I got here. Back in the day, like, waaaay back in the day, I’m talking 2006, I graduated from high school back in Nashville and started at Middle Tennessee State University the following fall. I was a student there for two semesters as a theater major, but something just didn’t feel right to me. At the time, I really wanted to move to LA to pursue acting, and felt as though wasting four years getting a B.A. in Theater at MTSU really wasn’t going to give me any sort of benefit in my goals. So, after two semesters, I quit school and started working a ton to save up money to move to LA. About eight months after leaving college, I made that a reality as I packed my bags and drove across the country.

When I first moved here to LA, I was dedicated to pursing my acting career, but I wasn’t getting where I wanted to be. I knew that it would be incredibly hard before I moved here, but I think after a couple years of so much discouragement, I started to feel helpless and a bit lost. I was going out too much, sleeping in super late, and showing up at my dead-end serving job that I absolutely loathed while wanting more but not sure how to make a change. At the same time, my confidence in myself had been shattered after feeling like I had failed to do what I came out here to do, which led to a lot of depression and a cycle of apathy and helplessness in my life.

It was about at age 25 when things really started to shift for me. It was if something turned on within me that shook me out of this funk that I had been in. Yes, I felt a bit lost, but I was going to do whatever I could to rise above it and find a better life for myself. I knew that one key component to that end meant that I needed to finish school. It was around this time that I started this blog, and I attribute my dedication to writing and creating content in this space to a lot of what helped me find myself again.

And so begins the segment of my life in which I was a “non-traditional student.” What is a non-traditional student you ask? Basically, that means anyone who is pursuing their college education outside of the traditional sense, i.e., attending college right after they finish high school. In 2007, NCES projected that 38% of people attending college were non-traditional students, and they expected that number to remain stable or increase slightly through the year 2018. Clearly, its not as uncommon as you might think! If you’re on the fence about returning to school as an adult, I can’t recommend enough to DO IT. That being said, I realize school isn’t necessarily the right avenue for everyone, and earning a college degree may not be the right path for you. However, I am of the mind that having a college degree can never hurt, it can only help. Personally, I wanted to finish college for myself, because I wanted that achievement in my life. If that is the case for you and you’re not sure where to start, keep reading because I have some lessons that I learned from being a non-traditional student at UCLA.

Find Help

When you first start back to school, you will likely have no idea what you are doing. It is truly a night and day difference from going to school right out of high school. While you’re in high school, you have people in your life, like parents, couselors, and teachers who are guiding you to college for years and walk you through each step to get there. When you’re a non-traditional student, you have to sort of take a shot in the dark, at least I had to. I started by taking classes at my local community college, because I knew I could get the rest of my G.E. requirements out of the way cheaply and close to home. It was a great way for me to build a beautiful 4.0 GPA that eventually got me into UCLA, so I highly recommend that route, however, counselors at community college leave a lot to be desired. Try your best to find a counselor right off the bat who can truly help you and give you the information you need to succeed and get through your education in a timely manner. It may take a semester of asking around other students to find that counselor, but do it! It is so so important.

Brace Yourself, This is no Cakewalk!

College is hard, period, but I am convinced that it is ten times harder as a non-traditional student. Why? When you attend college as a “normal” college student, you don’t have an adult life yet in a sense. You might work a part time job, but your life is basically centered around your college experience. When you’re an adult, fitting your education into your already busy life is super tough. My fiance can attest to just how tough it is from the multiple anxiety attacks and emotional breakdowns I have had over the years. The last two years I was at UCLA were probably the hardest two years of my life as I juggled the rigorous workload of a full-time schedule while also juggling my business, planning a wedding, and trying to find time for a social life so I still had friends when I graduate! One thing you will quickly learn: something’s gotta give, you can’t have it all. You also have to learn to be gentle with yourself and your expectations. You CAN do this, just put your head down and grind it out!

Seek Financial Help

I can’t stress this enough: get yourself some money for school! I am proud to say that I am graduating from UCLA with ZERO student debt, and that is all thanks to applying for federal aid and private scholarships and grants. When you’re a non-traditional student, there are often special scholarships and grants dedicated just to people like you, so head to your school’s scholarship resource center and talk to someone. Also, be sure to fill out your FASFA every year, because you can most definitely get financial aid that way too. Fastweb and Scholarships are two great sites that list tons of independent scholarships you can apply for, so if you’re willing to put the work in, you too can graduate with little to no debt as well.

Choose the Right Degree

We all know I started out as a theater major, and while I would’ve loved to continue as a theater major, I didn’t feel like what I would learn in that department would give me the skills for the kinds of jobs that I would want in the future. I decided to study Communications (which, by the way is the hardest major to get into at UCLA!) because I know that a lot of what I would love to do falls under this realm. As an adult, you don’t have time to waste taking classes that don’t enrich your life, so get laser focused and really think about what you might want to do later and go after the field of study that is going to help you get there.

The College Experience…does it matter?

Ok, so let’s talk about this college experience…do you really need it? Living on campus will be more expensive, and while they do have dorms at UCLA for transfer students/non-traditional students, you still might feel super out of place living among all the 18-20 yr olds. One way you can get a bit of that college experience as a non-traditional student is to get involved in different clubs or groups on campus who share similar interests to you. I really wish I would’ve had the time to do this, but unfortunately, when you commute to the Westside for school, you want to get home ASAP before the traffic sets in. That being said, just know that just because you are “older” doesn’t mean you can’t have a bit of that college experience. If this is something that doesn’t matter to you, you might consider an online school. I chose to attend UCLA because growing up I dreamed of going there after I found out my idol, Michelle Kwan, went to school here. I also know that having UCLA on my resume as a resident of Los Angeles will be invaluable as far as alumni connections in this city goes, however, if you live elsewhere, a degree is a degree in my book. Attending a university online would be a much more effective and convenient way to earn your degree as a non-traditional student and is absolutely something you should consider.

You Won’t Regret it, so DO IT

There were moments during the last couple years that I thought I would never make it through. It sometimes seemed like the expectations at UCLA, the workload, the pressure was too much and I really doubted myself. I doubted whether it was a mistake that I got accepted into the Communications department at UCLA. I eventually had to come to the knowledge that there are no mistakes in life, and that three different people had to approve my application for me to get accepted, so YES, I did belong here, I had earned it, and that was such a powerful thing. Going back to school as an adult has shaped me into the person I am now, it has brought back the confidence that I lost, and now, I honestly feel like I can tackle anything after what I have dealt with the last couple of years. You will never regret going back to school…as Oscar Wilde put it, “You can never be overeducated or overdressed.”

 

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